In yet another triumph of shed based engineering, I have constructed a working anti gravitation device. Thirty really powerful vacuum cleaners strapped to the ceiling counteract the effects of gravity. When the delicate balance of opposing forces is achieved I can float two feet above the ground.
My device works almost too well. Last night I spent five hours trapped in mid air, unable to go up or down. I could have been there literally forever had a friendly hedgehog not chewed through the power lead, breaking the equilibrium (and electrocuting itself in the act). I’m not sure if the hedgehog realised my predicament and wanted to help or if it just thought the power lead was a massive worm. I have decided to name my device after him anyway. Unfortunately I didn’t know his name so I have called the device Geoffrey.
My next plan is to build a cradle to support the vacuum cleaners, turning Geoffrey into a Revolutionary Flying Machine. That smartarse Dyson didn’t think of that did he?
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