Flies

Aren't flies really annoying? You know, when you've got a big fat one buzzing around your living room. Buzz buzzzz buzzzzzz.

It's not just the noise. It's the way they nearly fly into you and you think they might go into your mouth or up your nose.

And they're so dirty. Every time they land you think: "Where's that bastard now? I wonder if he's busy spewing digestive juices all over my lunch".

We once had a fly trapped in our living room for so long it drove us nearly insane, but then we had the inspired idea of thinking of him not as an disease-ridden irritant, but as a pet. Pets have names so called him Terry. Instantly our hatred transformed into warm fondness for our new little friend. 'What's Terry been up to?' One of us would ask the other on returning home from work, "Oh just buzzing around." the other would respond laughing.

We even stopped being annoyed when he landed on our hair and we worried for him if he went missing for a while, what with flies being such short-lived creatures, poor souls.

Then we caught hepititus from some meat he spewed on, so we killed him with a newpaper. Bloody fly.