This morning at 3am there was a knock on the front door. It was the man from The Insomnia Association, recruiting new members.
changing our approach,” he explained, wearily. “Up until now
everyone’s thought of insomnia as a sort of ailment. But we’ve had the
marketing people in and we’re repositioning it as a lifestyle choice.”
He pressed a brochure into my hands. It had a picture of a sleepwalker going into a disco on the cover. The slogan said ‘Insomnia: Live the Dream!’
members have eight hours a day more leisure time that anyone else,” he
continued. “That’s 2,920 hours of free time a year. Just think what
you could achieve while everyone else wastes their lives snoring. You
could become a competent guitarist, get a degree in organic chemistry or
even learn how to fly a helicopter. And because you don’t sleep,
you’ll feel like you’ve lived a lot longer than other people, even if
you die at 53!”
I said I’d sleep on it and closed the door.
(Then secretly I went back into the study to continue reading my Chemistry book).