Monday, 24 March 2014

My Pet Hedgehog Tried To Murder Me (from the archive)

I’ve spent the last three weeks in hospital after our pet hedgehog, seeking warmth, crept into my bed and nearly stabbed me to death.

I awoke to find my bed sheets covered in blood.  It was disturbingly reminiscent of a scene out of the Godfather, except they didn’t have a grinning pet hedgehog in the Godfather.

Obviously Bertie (the hedgehog) didn’t mean to try and murder me; he’s such a nice-natured fellow.  But I decided to have him plucked as a precaution.

Sadly a bald, miserable hedgehog is not a particularly endearing pet, so he’s been banished to the shed.  I’ll have to think of other ways to serve the cheese and pineapple at the Christmas party now.

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