I’ve just bought ten philosophy lecturers from a
Polish University. I plan to have five of them eaten by a mob of Year 9
comprehensive school children. The survivors will be the first
contestants in my new game show Brain Vs Brawn. Naturally they
will represent Brain and they will compete against a gang of welders
(collective IQ 420) in a Special Challenge.
The
Special Challenge is to drag a yacht from the middle of the desert to
the sea using only logic and a piece of string. The winning team gets
to keep the yacht for an entire week. The losers are drafted into the
Royal Navy and put on minesweeping duties.
Ratings success is virtually guaranteed as the show will air on the popular ITV9 channel immediately after Eat The Chef,
the new hit cooking programme in which two celebrity chefs knife each
other to death and the loser is fed to a mob of Year 9 comprehensive
school children.
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