To mark their tenth wedding anniversary Uncle Arthur presented Sally with a coffin and a shovel.
the gift lacked in romance it made up for in practicality. The
following day his mobility buggy went haywire in the local library and
he was tragically crushed to death when the entire archaeology section
toppled on top of him. It took ten bearded PhD students three weeks to
dig him out, by which time he had incurred 45p in overdue fines.
wasted little time mourning. She seized the opportunity to realise her
childhood dream of becoming an undertaker, and decided to specialise in
the growing ‘Unlikely Accidents Involving Mobility Buggies’ niche.
thrived. Within four months she had seven branches and a warehouse
full of crash damaged mobility buggies, which as a sideline, she sells
at boot fairs. She even won ‘Most Successful Newcomer’ in the Annual
British Undertaker Awards 2006, receiving a beautifully crafted
miniature glass sarcophagus, in which she keeps Arthur’s library ticket
in acknowledgement of his contribution to her success.