Monday, 24 March 2014

World Record Attempt #2 (from the archive)

Hold on to your hats.  Tomorrow is going to be the windiest day ever recorded.  This not because of freak global weather events, but because I will be attempting to break the world record for the biggest desk fan ever made. 

Fanny (the fan) is a masterpiece of shed-based engineering.  500 feet tall, her legs are made of bamboo and her four propellers are old garage doors.  The whole thing is held together with bandages bought from an A&E closing down sale.  Fingers crossed it isn’t too windy tomorrow and that Fanny doesn’t topple over onto the school. 

Environmentalists will be reassured to learn that Fanny is gluten free, hypoallergenic and carbon neutral (apart from the thirty thousand AA batteries required to power the propellers).  

The blow-a-thon starts at eleven and I’m expecting a big crowd.  Representatives of Desk Fan Clubs from all over the world are attending.  Many will be demonstrating their own Desk Fan creations.  Expect the weird and the wonderful!   Mother will be providing refreshments from her Traditional Pork Pie van.
 
In a spectacular Mass Blow-Off Finale five hundred fans will attempt to blow a dozen pensioners off a railway bridge.

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