(Another) Brilliant New Business Idea (from the archive)

I’m quitting the cut-throat world of gentleman’s hairdressing and thrusting out with my new venture: Handsome Brendan and His Amazing Dancing Dog.  

I will be Brendan of course.  And I will travel throughout the UK’s infinite slum towns in the most reliable transit van £200 can buy, bringing a dash of showbiz to dreary British lives with my incredible hound-based jazz and tap routines, set to the music of whatever busker happens to be performing at the time.   

There are a few details to iron out: I can’t dance and I don’t have a dog.  (I don’t even like dogs).  But I won’t let that hold me back; über-preneur Richard hair-and-teeth Branson didn’t start out with a spaceship, did he?  By the spring I predict I will be standing confidently in The Dragons’ Den, securing the cash for a further 3,000 dancing dogs, which will be issued to eager franchisees on a first-come-last-served basis.

Once I’ve milked the Dancing Dog concept for all it’s worth I will diversify with Wrinkly William and His Boxing Badger Show, and then hit the unsuspecting UK audience with Bad Breath Brenda and Her Exploding Shetland Pony Extravaganza.  The possibilities are limitless.