Materialism (from the archive)

Is rampant consumerism undermining the fragile fabric of society?  Is the desire for Toshiba TVs ruining family cohesion and destroying our sense of community?  I don’t know, my family don’t speak to me anymore and I don’t have any friends.  Good job I’ve got this Toshiba to keep me company. 

I use it mainly to watch EastEnders.  I revel in its misery.  It makes me feel superior.  It’s difficult to get that sense of power over real people, especially if they have bigger Toshibas than you.  Hopefully in future they will make eight 24 hour episodes of EastEnders every week and repeat them on a new channel that only people with Toshibas can receive.  That would be worth living for. 

There’s no stopping progress.  It’s like a train except that it goes a lot faster, isn’t full of tired commuters and doesn’t stop at Sittingbourne.  Actually now that I think about it, progress isn’t like a train at all.  It’s more like a fairground rollercoaster that’s come away from its tracks and is about to plunge everyone to their deaths because the guard was too busy watching his Toshiba to notice the track had disintegrated.

Examiner’s note
A reasonable attempt at tackling a complex social issue in a pithy sketch format.  The use of a rollercoaster disaster as a metaphor for the disintegration of society is clichéd but nicely framed.  The milk has gone off and my cat has an eye missing but I’m still going dancing tonight.  68%